SEC WEST – WEEK 13
What a game. Lester has the game handed to him by the zebras on too many occasions to count, then can’t even call a timeout to win it. If I were the suspicious type, I’d think Les had lost everything but his hat to the gas station casino down the street and needed to do some payback. Only problem with that is that The Rt. Rev. must be into the boys in Tunica and screwed up enough not to cover. Add to that whatever the refs had on the Tigers and you have the makings of a game more disjointed than a kindergarten with a nitrous oxide tank and 30 hoses. Ryan Mallett put an exclamation point behind being the best QB in the SEC and Missy State was finally just too worn out to try to keep up. The Bulldogs have played way above their talent level this year and Dan Mullen is right up there with Rich Brooks for SEC Coach of the Year. All that really accomplished was an 0 – 2 record for the week and bringing us to a lowly 30 – 23 for the season, with Rivalry Week upon us. Six teams, three games, so at least we can’t totally wash out for the season. So, here we go with the final chance to make some money and some sense out of nothing but nonsense.
Alabama (-10) at Auburn – The Iron bowl, or the “Arn Bowl” if you want anybody in Lee County to understand you. I’ve got to give Chizik and Mozambilestan, or whatever the high school coach who is the Tigers’ OC is called, a lot of credit. They have put together a pretty good football team, much better than expected. They have taken an outstanding RB and two bad QBs and fashioned a very dangerous offense. The game is in Jordan-Hare, around 185 miles from Tuscaloosa. That’s about 2 hours and 40 minutes by car or 50 years in the Way Back machine. People in the state like to say that anything can happen in this game – and they are right. Bama could score 7 unanswered TDs or 11. Ingram could run for 200 yards or 300. Only two things are for sure – Terrence Cody sets an SEC sexual fulfillment record at Toomer’s Corner on Friday night and Alabama covers.
Ole Miss (-8) at Mississippi State – Here’s the dilemma, did last week’s game count as a good one for the Reb’s? I (along with just about everybody else who picks SEC games) had a lot of trouble counting on Houston the Nutt for two good games in a row. Just like I have all season, I did it anyway. And, just like all season, Nutt screwed me. Though they tried to help the zebras in giving the game to LSU, in just about every way possible, Les just wouldn’t take it. So, is Ole Miss due a good game or one where they just run around, looking at the ground for Snead’s passes? I really don’t know, but the story line is this – Ole Miss can stop Dixon, but Missy State can’t stop McCluster. The other story line is whether the Klan will follow the Rebels to Starkville. If they do, I don’t think they’ll stand out, so it really isn’t a factor. Ole Miss covers.
Arkansas at LSU (-3.5) - Did the boys in Cleveland, who supply the line to the boys in Vegas, even watch the LSU / Ole Miss game? For that matter, the R – Kansas / Missy State game? Ryan Mallet is a great QB. Jordan Jefferson is a gutless idiot. Bobby Petrino is cunning and ruthless. Les Miles is the worst coach in the SEC. What good does it do you to have two of the best WRs in the league when you have the two worst QBs? The Bayou Bengals are going down to a humiliating, but well deserved defeat. This is a shame; there are some exceptional players on that team, especially on defense. But, when the offense leaves you with just 30 yards to defend every series, the other team has Ryan Mallett and your coach is a fool, only bad things can happen. Did you know that all of those famous half naked pics of “LSU co-eds” are really of “models” from Beaumont? Did you know Les puts tomatoes in his gumbo? Arkansas covers.