Creek vs. Musket
Creek (12 – 3) (4-1) It seems I’ve allowed the Musket to get within striking distance. A Jungian would say that it is a problem of Les is more. A Freudian would say I’m preoccupied with the Nutt (and I don’t love my mother). I say I tried to create a middle and lost on both ends. Everybody else did what they were supposed to, sort of. I wonder if we will get any cooperation this week? We have the Iron Bowl, Backyard Brawl, some sort of deliverance thing in Georgia and many more rivalry games to choose from. The Big Ten has closed up shop in the middle of November so that they can get on their message boards and complain about Southerners (who finish in December) not playing in cold weather. Congratulations to Musket on going undefeated, untied and not giving up a sack last week. No more mercy buddy, I’m reading the pluff mud in Charleston Harbor and the bear droppings on English Mountain this week, looking for signs, inspiration and the occasional stranded boater or hiker who might just have all of the answers.
Musket (11 – 4) (5-0) Mmm, mmmm. Ain’t Nutt-N like the sweet taste of pafeckshun! Thanks for the congrats Creek, our swing game was close on the scoreboard but Miles away in reality. McCluster was an animal and it could have gone either way, un-Les gambling for the Bayou Bengals finally hit a snag. The LSU front man has made wacky decisions many times before; however, the results favored the Tigers. Perhaps Michigan has come calling again and clouded his National Title savvy judgment. This time Les could make a clean break. So, the smell of turkey, gravy, stuffing, and other delicious, coma inducing foods has flooded the air. Like a hot rock to lizard, several excellent college football match-ups will help the food digest properly. The Backyard Brawl will again weigh heavy on the Big East title.
Florida State at #2 Florida
Creek There is something kind of sad about this game. Mickey Andrews is making his last official visit to Ben Hill Griffin Stadium. He was winning games there long before it was The Swamp. Ol’ Bobby could be singing his Gainesville swan song as well, but that is still up in the air and not likely. Bowden says he isn’t going anywhere and I believe him. Besides, I want one more year of some truly incredible post game press conferences. Hey! It might be selfish, but some of us still enjoy the little things in life. I am paraphrasing a Florida co-ed on her dating history with the football team. The biggest drama, nay, dare I say tragedy, is reserved for the final home game for The Golden Child and his running buddy, The Cataract Maker. In just a few months The Bow will be waiting by his phone in the waning hours of the first day of the NFL draft, praying to his good buddy God that he will not get a call from Dan Snyder. Spikes will have long ago received his call from Al Davis and is weighing it against his offer from Vince McMahon. The game itself will not be nearly this melodramatic. Even though Manuel has played OK, the Seminoles only slight chance would have come with a healthy Ponder. The Gators can grind it out, take advantage of FSU’s decimated defense, and then use their outstanding special teams to give the Noles an awful lot of real estate between them and a TD. So long Mickey, maybe I’ll run into you again on the lake sometime. If not, throw anything back under 10 lbs., just like the old days. Florida wins
Musket The Seminole staff seems more comfortable in a bingo hall slowing chewing a discounted fish sandwich. I truly believed the grandiose Gators would be upset prior to the conference championship game and now that task falls solely on Florida State. The problem is the Gators play like a finely tuned Aston Martin zipping along while the Seminoles are more like a 1985 Cadillac driving 45 mph in the fast line with the turning signal blinking insignificantly. Ponder is dinged up, on the other end Tebow actually roped the moon last night according to ESPN reports. Florida wins
Georgia at #6 Georgia Tech
Creek The Beeeez host the Dawgs in one of the good old traditional rivalries. I just want to state for the record, I am saddened by the loss of UGA VII. You can lose a girlfriend, a bet, a football game, but the loss of a good dog is one of life’s great cruelties. Especially one who had over a million people sharing ownership status. Good luck and long life to the next one. We don’t want them to start having the lifespan of a Grateful Dead keyboardist. Another of life’s cruelties is what Tech is going to do to Georgia’s defense. All of the options, reverses, change of pace, etc., is going to make a Dawg D that is already so unfocused they appear to be playing in a Hall of Mirrors, look like they are doing the Hokey Pokey, with all of the left foot in and spinning all about. Tech doesn’t have much of a defense either, but they are good enough just to stand there and wait for Joe Cox to throw them the ball. The boys from Athens will amass more penalty yards than passing and more penalties than points. For my friends in Athens – Wave good bye Martinez. Don’t answer your cell Bobo, maybe it will just go away if you ignore it, much like your offense. Georgia Tech wins.
Musket The upset bid requires two major components: 1) The favored team is usually coasting through the game or convalescing from the previous opponent, and 2) good players have to make great plays the whole game. Mark Richt did some soul searching last night; he dug so deep he actually considered calling Lane Kiffin and Urban Meyer to discuss the experience over Lattes. When he finally snapped to, Richt realized he had awesome recruits, hungry fans, and losing to Kentucky was unacceptable. This game is going to bear the resemblance of the 2006 Gator smash with a Bulldog team that is revived by Richt’s spiritual awakening. Sure, Gerogia Tech’s offense is a well-oiled machine. Not even a bulldozer wants to stand in front of a hard charging Jonathan Dwyer or Anthony Allen. But this Georgia team has been beaten, embarrassed, and eye gouged and I don’t think they’re ready to accept the mediocrity of a 6-6 record. They’ve scored 40+ on tougher defenses, they’ll need it against Tech, and they’ll get it. Georgia wins.
New Mexico at #4 TCU
Creek The Lobos, try not to laugh. Hey, this is conference opponent. Without heading north to Hawkinsville, it is hard to find a more dysfunctional team. Poor Portiere has thrown for 12 TDs against 9 interceptions, but he has been sacked 24 times. He’s spent more time on his butt than the boys in Knox County Jail spent on Nu’Keese’s. Once again, there is no chance. The Horned Frogs are a machine. In contrast to his counterpart, Andy Dalton has tossed 18 TDs against 5 picks and only 7 sacks. Their D has knocked the QB down 18 times and recorded 10 interceptions. I don’t think that even Tony Dungy and his Traveling Salvation Show can pull Mike Locksley, or whoever is the coach at game time, out of this one. They will be leaving Cow Town worse off than they were before. I’m looking at an over/under of 70 and that is just for the Frogs. Choke this Mike! TCU wins.
Musket Remember as previously stated, an upset bid requires two major components: 1) The favored team is usually coasting through the game or convalescing from the previous opponent, and 2) good players have to make great plays the whole game. TCU will still have their foot heavily on the gas pedal as they must win and win big to wring anymore respect out of the BCS rankings. Also, the lowly Lobos don’t have many good players. Head Coach Gary Patterson built a brick wall and called it his defense. They rank among the Top 6 nationally in Scoring Defense, Rushing Defense, Passing Defense, and of course Total Defense. Oh my gosh, that’s disgusting. How do you think the nation’s 96th ranked offense will fare? Imagine a Horned Frog the size of a rhinoceros chasing a wounded, limping coyote. That’s the type of game we’ll see here. TCU wins.
#7 Pitt at West by God Virginia
Musket Passion, turmoil, intensity, and revulsion. That’s just what goes on in my thick skull prior to the Backyard Brawl. The actions on the field will be tenfold. These teams repulse each other, these fans repulse each other, and records and standings have no home in the violent world of the Backyard Brawl. To be honest, I wanted to stay away from this game because of the emotional draw. I secretly hoped Creek would select this game so I could point a finger. ‘Just when I thought I was out… They pull me back in.’ But let’s forget about my problems, I’m here to tell you about Pitt’s problems. Head Coach Bill Stewart baffles me to no extent, but his players fall-in when he rallies the troops for a big game (see Bowl wins). This is a big game. The Mountaineers have slowly but surely developed a one-two punch of fast and fury with Noel Devine and freshman Ryan Clarke. Jarrett Brown seems to have dissipated some of those concussion clouds and is starting to make snappy decisions again which will reincorporate that capable receiving corps. Stull will be drawn into a passing comfort zone, and then slashed with mistakes as he reverts to his old self. West Virginia wins.
Creek Devin Lewis runs for 237 yards. Bill Stewart takes a nap. Sorry Musket. If I am going to consider this guy for the POTY, he has to have a breakout game against real competition. UWV will do for now. I really think that Lewis is the only important edge the Panthers have over the Mountaineers. If somebody slips some No-Doze into Stewart’s Metamucil and he has a brilliant idea to stop Lewis, UWV could take this. I’ll be cheering UWV on, there is something about a girl in buckskin that arouses my prurient interest but, I just don’t think they get it done. I’m also a little pissed that they have started shutting down the Porn Palaces that used to line the Interstate. The home cooking at that little grocery between Morgantown and some-the-hell-where almost makes up for it, but it isn’t enough. Pitt wins.
#1 Alabama at Auburn
Musket What kind of college football fans would we be if we let this one slip through the crack? Saban and Chizik go head to head. Listen, if Nick Saban puts on about 30 pounds and starts wearing a cut-off sweatshirt he would be the Bill Belicheck of college football. Think about it; the glib remarks, the concealing press conference demeanor, and the ability to stretch and skew the rule book while only brushing against illegal activity. Yes, Saban is a cunning man, and like Belicheck it’s all business. For Alabamans this game is a heated rivalry, for Saban it’s another milestone on his road to fame. It doesn’t matter which Auburn offense shows up because it’s a known entity which Bama defense will be waiting, that would be the #1 defense in the country. Alabama wins.
Creek I don’t think there is any great head to head between Saban and Chizik. Chizik has a long way to go before he even goes head to head with Lane Kiffin, much less Nick Saban. What will be fun to watch is Ben Tate going head to head with Cody, McClain and Arenas. Aubren’s OC, Matsonvula(or whatever his name is) against Kirby Smart. The Bama fans against the Auburn cops’ fire hoses. Since Saban has no history of bending and skewing the rules, I don’t think he will start for this game. Auburn is on the way back, but this is not the year. This is not Bama’s rivalry game, Tennessee is, but there are enough Bufords on both sides who need something to argue about while they clean the state’s highways to make it very important in certain demographics. This is Auburn’s rivalry game and they will lose it in magnificent fashion. Without any rule breaking by Saban, or hopefully by Chizik, the thug stuff seems to have left with Tubby. Is he advising Charlie Strong now?. Maybe you have SEC leaders confused – Bama wears the Crimson and White uniforms. I will probably watch the game at the subtly elegant, but poshly comfortable A Club in DC, surrounded by fellow alums who are diplomats, judges, Pulitzer Prize winners, etc. We will be served, as usual, by Auburn grads, if they can figure how to tie their bowtie. I could also watch it at the Cheetah Club in Atlanta and be served by Auburn grads. Their alumni base is broad, they have busboys and “hostesses” working everywhere. Alabama wins