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THE SEC MENU – BBQ AND CUPCAKES

The first slate of SEC games is so embarrassing that I am tempted to just skip it. There is more lame shit and gutless behavior here than at a Glen Beck concert. LSU has a good game, as does Vandy. Mississippi State probably isn’t far out of their weight class. Other than that, the league should be ashamed. If I was ESPN, I’d want some of my money back. It is like the girl said to the flasher, “It looks like one, but I remember them being bigger.” Well this looks like a schedule, but it is just an excuse to get drunk and wear ugly clothing.

THE SEC BREAKDOWN

This is the year of near parity on the field in the SEC, according to those who write about football, but do not actually watch it. Arkansas is as good or better than Alabama. South Carolina will make a (nother) run for the East championship. I don’t know what league the boys in the basement [...]

THE COLLEGE FOOTBALL LIST OF LISTS

A satirical list of lists to get ready for college football

10 WHO MUST LIVE

Not necessarily the nicest or my favorite people in the world, but they do have their place

10- Tim Tebow – Yes even The Bow has a reason to live – money for me. I am presently negotiating a deal to handle Tebow’s off season appearances. I’ll take the usual agent’s 75% and he gets to say God Bless a lot. My plan is to put him in 5 large arenas for [...]

10 WHO MUST DIE

I apologize ahead of time, but my patience with these people has been tested for too long.  They must go. 10- Lou Holtz – I know, I know. Why # 10 for the world’s most annoying asshole? Because I have other plans for spittin’ midget, as he’s known on the regional rasslin’ circuit. I plan [...]

Urban Renewal

Coaching at Florida

In one of the strangest events of this football season, Urban Meyer quits, unquits, kind of halfway quits in a 24 hour period. Along the way he had (choose your own number of) heart attacks that he just ignores, is overstressed, loves his family (but not enough to fully commit to them) and grabs back [...]

FAREWELL COACH BOWDEN

Bobby Bowden - The Original

As much as I have joked about it, even been downright sadistic about it, over the last few years, there is a small empty spot in my gut now.  I can’t say how long it will last, probably until the next genuine crazy man has been around college football for a few years. Coach Bowden [...]

SEC WEST – WEEK XIV – THE SEMI-FINALS

SEC Championship: Alabama vs Florida

Well, Nick Saban let me down, I didn’t go with my instincts on Houston the Nutt and try as he might, Lester couldn’t take us down. Dan Mullen showed us, as he has all year, that when the moon is aligned just right and if he crosses his eyes in a certain way, the Bulldogs [...]

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