“As a captain of a huge ship adrift…he worked wonders.”

“How strange would that be?Alabama playing LSU in the title game, while the SEC champion plays in the Sugar.”

“Compared to Death Valley, anything else is a neutral site.”

“UGA team: Woo hoo, we crushed LSU! National Championship here we come!! …. BCS computers: I am sorry, Dave, I can’t let you do that”

“There is a reason they call it a Strange Attractor in chaos theory. It took the utter disaster of the Neuheisel to attract action from the UCLA athletic director and administration”

“we have 30+ people coming over to witness the WGUGAE (Worlds Greatest UGA Upset Evah)”

“there’s not a snowballs chance in hell the dawgs win this one …”

“ … Game…Set….Match Point ..”

“The BCS computers will take over at that point like Hal in 2001: A Space Odyssey.”

“I didn’t know there were mulligans in college football.”

“It’s going to be CRAPTASTIC!”

“I must be in the Twilight Zone …. there is a michigan fan and a Gator fan saying nice things about the Buckeyes ….”

“Poppa Smurf might turn UCLA into a football dynasty …”

“I’m not sure that they’re a “sleeping giant,” but they’re at the very least a “sleeping really big person.”

“and I can’t with a straight face say that a team that has a defense ranked in the 100′s is a legitimate title contender”

“Keenum picked the wrong game to have his worst performance”

“Watching UCLA makes my eyes bleed.”

“Wisky vs Sparty is shaping up to be a good one”

“we are gonna treat this as our bowl game”

“Drink the Kool Aid!”

“Victory is sweetest when you’ve known defeat.”

The enormous power of words lies in the MEANING that the words have for you. The words trigger concepts, ideas, memories, situations, circumstances, actions, thoughts and feelings from your subconscious mind into corresponding emotional responses toward the subject at hand.

“Our hatred ofmichiganis genetically pre-deposed … it is imbibed with our mother’s milk …

“ I was almost prophetic. “

“ GO WARRIORS!!! “

“I think we can start calling him Coach Urban Legend. “

“Sometimes you roll Snake Eyes. “

“Are all Clemson fans impotent? “

“Minnesota should change their name to the Golden Possums because they play dead at home and get killed on the road “

“That’s one ugly ass win for Georgia“

“ Oh boy ! … this Georgia cheerleader can beat me , tie me up , and make me write bad checks … and I would  yodel while she was doing it …, “

“Crying ass shame Utah is going to be playing the inaugural PAC-12 CG !!! “

“Nothing screams I COACHED IN THE NFL like 110 rushing yards against the Purple Paladins “

“You just have such a short window to play NFL football, you should probably make hay while the sun shines. “

“ There is a fine line between SEC championship and total collapse.We call him Les. “

“In my Al Bundy Voice…..”Lets Rock”! lol “

“Martinez couldn’t pass gas after eating a bowl of beans “

“ The Big East actually has the audacity to think conference expansion decisions are theirs to control ! “

“”I know there is a game at noon on Saturday and my ass will be there,” Fickell said. “

“For the SEC championship game get really drunk and eat corn dogs. Bonus points if you get in a fist fight with your neighbors wife.”

“Wisconsin fans had early season visions of sugar plums and BCS championships dancing in their heads “

LSU

“Holy Hogs… that was so unbelievable  … that I had to watch it three times …”

“Must be the corn dog thing. LSU covers “

“These teams are the Frost Giants, and the rest of the top ten are the gods of Asgard, just waiting around for Göttedämerung and the Big Ass Kicking they will get.”

“Sorry Brother, but I believe Stanford is gonna spank your boys “

“I love it when an adopted UK fan is talking shit on a FSU/UF thread. “

“We have a wave comming to Hawaii tonight… “

“you went to Disney and lost to Kentucky in the same day. Brutal man.”

“Respectably Screw Blue ! “

Wisconsin fans had early season visions of sugar plums and BCS championships dancing in their heads. Eleven games and two Hail Mary’s later those dreams have become a distant memory.Wisconsin will try to save their season with a victory over Penn State. This game will decide who represents the Leaders Division in Indianapolis. Russell Wilson and Montee Ball lead an offense that averages 45 points per game. The Penn State defense only allows 13 points per game. Something will have to give. I think the Badgers running game will be too much forPenn State to handle. And after they get the running game established, look for Wilson to light up the score board with a couple of touchdown passes.Wisconsin wins easily – it is going to be a long bus ride back home to “UnhappyValley“for the Nittany Lions ….

Iowa  –  # 22 Nebraska

You never know which Hawkeye team is going to show up for the game – The Contenders or the Pretenders?Iowa will need a balanced attack if they expect to upset Nebraska. Coker rushing for a 100 yards and McNutt passing for a 100 yards will give Iowa a good chance to win. Nebraska needs Martinez to manage the game and minimize his mistakes. The Huskers will need to rush for over 200 yards as a team to beat Iowa. (because, lets face it, Martinez couldn’t pass gas after eating a bowl of beans). I don’t see Nebraska rushing for 200 yars. The “corn fed boys“ from Iowa will be poppin’ as they shuck the “corn fed boys“ from Nebraska…

# 11 Michigan State –  Northwestern

Northwestern seems to have put their early season struggles behind them. As they have won four straight games, including a win overNebraska. The Wildcats are capable of winning on “Any Given Saturday “.The Spartans have already earned the right to play in the Big Ten Championship Game. But this could be a trap game forMichigan State if they are looking ahead to the Big 10 CCG and not staying focused on Northwestern. But never fear, Sparty will concentrate on the task at hand. If the Michigan State offensive line gives Cousins time, he will do the rest. He will attack Northwestern’s biggest weakness – their secondary and will give Michigan State an edge that the Cats won’t be able to overcome. Call the taxidermist, Sparty is going to make a wildcat rug out of Northwestern.

Illinois – Minnesota

The Illini started the season 6-0 and were looking like “Kings of the Gridiron “, but 5 losses later they were wearing “”The Emperor’s New Clothes “and the naked truth was exposed –Illinois is just a mediocre team. But Minnesota is even worst. They have only won one conference game and that is not going to change this week. Which is good news for Ron Zook because a loss to the Gophers would put him in the ranks of the unemployed.Minnesota should change their name to the Golden Possums because they play dead at home and get killed on the road ….

Perdue  – Indiana

Purdue looking to become bowl-eligible for the first time in gawd knows when should have no problem doing that  Saturday, as they face a hapless Indiana team (1 – 10 and winless in the Big 10). Purdue will get their sixth win of the season. All they have to do is keep Indiana from establishing the run early, as it is one of the Hoosiers few strengths. If the masochist who tuned into this game can stay awake they will see the Boilmakers steam roll Indiana…

Ohio State –  # 17 Michigan

First, before I start to preview this game, let me say this: “My hatred of michigan is genetically pre-deposed … it was imbibed with my mother’s milk … “

But I will try not to let this cloud my opinions as I give my review of the game. This season was supposed to be a National Championship season for the Buckeyes but that was all before tattoo gate.Ohio State has struggled to a disappointing 6- 5 season. Their defense has played well at times, but their offense has been inconsistent and down right anemic at times.Michigan however, has been the surprise of the Big 10. They are looking at a potential 10-2 record and a BCS Bowl invite. It is sweet to be a Wolverine. Both teams need to get their quarterbacks going early if they want to win. Braxton Miller will have to complete more than 10 passes if the Buckeyes want to win. And Denard Robinson will have to have to have a good game on the ground if he wants to lead Michigan to a victory. I think Ohio State will struggle too much in the passing game.Michigan gets it first win against the Buckeyes since 2003…… SCREW BLUE!

Well, there you have it folks … my opinion of how it will shake out in the Big 10 this.. Let me know what you all think…

“If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.”

“…gave me a damn heart attack ”

“Oregon’s response: Be careful what you wish for.”

“I went to check my mail a few minutes ago and gained more yards than Kentucky did Saturday.”

“Hang onto that feeling , just cling baby cling”

“Mack’s Got Five On It: Grab Your Fozzy; Let’s Get Keyed”

“Who wouldn’t want to see the offensive and defensive wizards of this era match wits?”

“The Herschel Walker and Miami love isn’t his thing.”

“ To be honest I just believe Miles has a six pack of horse shoes shoved up his ass”

“Dooley is a young guy who has apparently, to put it in medical terms, gone bat shit.”

“This is the kind of thing I would expect from Lou Holtz (who probably has a green ceramic leprechaun that he nurses twice a day)”

“Aw hell y’all, it’s only Monday and I’ve already got my geek on!”

“linebackers get called for excessive hits…………im tellin ya….this is gonna be a tea and crumpet game before long”

“Better sign Rich Rod before Ole Miss does.”

“I am crazy but I was in love with Stafford.”

“A Losing Season May Be Forgiven, Provided Thou Hath Beaten Your Traditional Rival And/Or Crushed The National Championship Hopes Of Another Team”

“it looks like the best team in the state of  Florida, will be Clemson when they play in the Orange Bowl ….”

“The defense has shown nothing today. They can’t stop the run or the pass, but they make up for it by not giving a fuck.”

“ISU Wins!–this is going to make a mess of the BCS.”

“Nat Moore says, “Furman is a really good team.” Is he drunk again?”

“I hope your dog was smart enough to hide from you today.”

“10-9 Kentucky, holy schnikey!”

“Though I do get the feeling Delaney and Slive are doin’ some ol school tag team wrasslin’.”

“How about that, a Tennessee fan ranking a Lane Kiffin team? I do believe Hell just got a little frosty.”

“UVA wins in spite of what looked to me like double home cooking.”

“ Thou shalt have no other sports before football”

A lot of folks picked Nebraska to win the  Big 10 Conference title in their very first year.Michigan has a chance to win a Big 10 Conference title for the first time since 2004.This game is important to both teams, because the loser of this game, for all intents and purposes, can kiss winning the Legends Division race good-bye. So,pucker up Michigan , the Huskers are going to win this game. Nebraska will use a solid running game and a stout defense to control the flow of the game. And like always, when the Wolverines face a defense with a pulse, their offense becomes as useless as rubber lips on a woodpecker. Go Huskers!

 # 21 Penn State – Ohio State

Penn State has won only once in Columbus since joining the Big Ten. I don’t expect that to change this week. Penn State’s defense will not be enough to win this game and their offense is anemic. I think the Buckeyes have the edge on offense and that “Edge “ is Braxton Miller. I know that he is young, inconsistent, and mistake prone, but he is always just one way step from breaking an explosive run. And that might be all it will take to win a low scoring game like this one is going to be. The Buckeyes tame the Lions.

# 17 Wisconsin – Illinois

Wisconsin is still in the hunt for the Leaders Division title and can’t afford to stumble in the home stretch.So, look for the Badger’s to make it two in a row over Illinois, who  have reverted to their usual role – the victim of another lost season. There will be no scalping of the Badger’s this week, the “Fighting Illini” couldn’t lift someone’s hair if they were in a barber shop.

The Zookster prepares for Wisky

 Iowa –  Purdue

Iowa hasn’t won a road game all year and Purdue needs one more win to be eligible for a bowl game. Purdue fans should thank God and Greyhound that the Boilermakers play Indiana next week, because the Hawkeyes are going to break their road jinx and open up a can of “ whoop ass “ on Purdue.

Indiana –  # 15 Michigan State

Sparty is two wins away from the league championship game and the Hoosiers are going to be one of those wins. The best performance that Indiana has had all year was last week ( their Bye week ).Michigan State is going to wreck more havoc on the Hoosiers than a tornado in a trailer park.

Minnesota –  Northwestern

The Wildcats started out the season slow (they were 2-5) at one time. But they have come on like gang busters (they are now 5-5) and just one win away from being bowl eligible. On the other hand, Jerry Kill and the Golden Gophers season is so bad, that they wont even be eligible for a toilet bowl.Minnesota will end up being road kill on Saturday. And Northwestern will be as happy as a tick on a fat dog …

Well there you have it … the way I see things shaking out in the Big 10 this week  … so, let me know what you all think …. give me a piece of your mind … but remember to keep some for yourself …

 “It’s like getting underwear for Christmas when you are a kid.” (Missouri’s move to SEC)

“but so help me God I hear the words QB competition out of your mouth again Joker, I’ll smack you myself.”

“Holtz finally said something un-stupid – ‘All we found out was that LSU has a better kicker.’”

“Tough hitting game, bet there us a lot of whirlpool and ice bath action today,”

“Even as a Clemson fan, I hate to see a talent like Alshon completely wasted”

“No joy in Smurfville tonight.”

“Gee, I feel like we should send flowers – either a condolence to Boise or a huge thank you to TCU”

“Hey, bartender bring us a round of Boilermakers!”

“aw hell, good catch, now tackle boys!”

“Spurrier’s offense has gone from the Fun in Gun, to the Cock n Fire, to Shooting Blanks”

“The Pistol and the Shotgun. That has a Quentin Tarantino kind of sound to it somehow.”

“hell we suck so bad you get fired for losing to us, lol”

“protestors, anarchy and bon fires.”

“Let a bulletproof old man with a great coaching record take over until the scandal settles.”

“Cockspur, I love it.”

“When the attendant takes your order and tells you to drive to the first window, don’t leave too fast so you can hear him say, “Go Dawgs! Roo! Roo!””

“I want to see the headline : NUTT SACKED!”

“No doubt they had a proud string of talent roll through there”

“the Oregon game will certainly be a litmus test for Stanford”

“I love chaos too, as long as I know Lyupanov’s boundary conditions”

“VT pulled a GT on y’all and ran the ball hard. 267 yards on the ground”

“Slam fuller’n a blue tick on a slop fed hog.”

“Ole Miss Football. It’s like watching a monkey eat a hand grenade”

“I’m all for a plus one. It means more football for me to watch!”

“touch -dad-burn-it down, shoot fire”

“College football on a crisp autumn day is its own special treat.”

SPECIAL QUOTE:

“I get that exposing all involved is important, but as a father, I hope nobody on here forgets the real priority here, giving the victims respect, and all the help they need.”

 The Wildcats shocked everyone last Saturday by taking the “ Black Shirts “ out behind the shed and giving them an old fashion whooping. And while that was a nice win, Northwestern can’t rest on their laurels. They still need a couple more wins if they expect to go bowling this year. Some of you all might think “what better fodder for one of those wins than the Rice Owls”, but hold your horses there Nellie … a win over Rice might be easier said than done … these are the same Rice Owls that beat Perdue. Will Northwestern become the 2^nd  Big 10 team to fall victim to the “mighty” Owls? I don’t think so. Rice has a horrible defense (allowing 37.6 points per game).The Wildcats offense averages 31.2 points per game. They will treat the Owls defense like a virgin on prom night. “ W-who …W-who …W-who let the Cats out “   

 Ohio State – Purdue

Ohio State has been on a nice winning streak – beating Illinois,Wisconsin, and Indiana. If they expect to catch Penn State , who is in first place in the Leaders Division, the Buckeyes will need to continue their winning ways Saturday against Perdue. Ohio State’s defense has allowed an average of 18.1 points per game (14th in the nation).Their running game has racked up 204.4 yards per game.This is bad news for Perdue, who has allowed an average of 191.1 rushing yards per game. After this game is over Perdue will need something to drown their sorrows. ”Hey, bartender bring us a round of Boilermakers”.

 Illinois –  #  24 Michigan

What happens when an unstoppable force ( QB Denard Robinson) meets an immoveable object ( DE Whitney Mercilus )? The ” Big Bang” happens.The only question is which universe will be created. The one where Illinois wins or the one where Michigan wins. Illinois is on a three game skid and Michigan got beat up byIowa last week. (Once again defense proved to be Michigan’s Kryptonite).I think Illinois will show no mercy on a battered Michigan team. There will be wailing and gnashing of teeth in Ann Arbor after the  “Fighting Illini” get through scalping the Wolverines.

# 18 Wisconsin – Minnesota

It looks like Minnesota has finally decided to play ball. In the last two weeks they shocked us with an upset win over the ‘corn fed boys’ of Iowa and had us sitting on the edge of our seats as  they almost beat Sparty. Wisconsin has lost their last two games on the road. Both of them by “Hail Mary’s”. Minnesota does have the home-field advantage in this game, but it won’t matter. The Badgers are going to bury “Paul Bunyan’s Axe” right smack dab in the middle of the Gopher’s ….. 

 # 17 Michigan State –  Iowa

This game is a hard one to pick. Michigan State struggles on the road … and Iowa, just as we were about to write them off , got a big win over Michigan. Sparty is at the top of the pack in the Legends Division and they are going to fight hard to stay there. But the Big 10 is topsy –turvy this year ….. If the Hawkeyes win their last three games, they could end up going to Indy. Both teams need a win. This is going to be a hard fought battle. The Spartans eke out a close one.

# 19 Nebraska  –  #  12 Penn State

 A couple of weeks ago this game was shaping up to be  a huge match- up in the  Big 10, but it  has lost some of its luster recently. Nebraska  lost to Northwestern last week … and State Penn…. Uh, I mean Penn State ..  has a huge cloud of scandal hanging over them.The Nittany Lions are undefeated in the Big Ten and are sitting on top of the  Leaders Division. If they win two of their last three games they are guaranteed a trip to Indy. But Nebraska aint gonna be one of those wins. I think Nebraska finds a way to run all over Penn State. The Cornhuskers will have the Lions meowing like rain soaked kittens.

 Bye -Indiana

 This is the best news the Hoosiers have had all season.

So, there you have it folks … what I think is shaking in the Big 10 this week … if you agree with me let me know.. If you don’t let me know that too……

- are preserved or diminished by how freely we exchange ideas and feelings.

“The old man is just damn good! “

 “Miller may be driving a free Hummer in a few years”

 “We were the tallest midget in the circus yesterday“

 “I’m glad we won. I was tired of losing to Florida.”

 “I noticed my new puppy does not like late game drama… poor guy…”

 “…but as Teddy Roosevelt once famously said, “the ACC sucks a big stick” …. Or something like that.

 ‘”If you light yourself on fire, the world will pay to watch you burn”

 “Emerald Nuts Bowl anyone??? “

 “BTW, congrats …….and who cares that Navy Sux, lol”

 “Whew, I was hoping that wasn’t some weird Jim Tressel pornography.”

 “It’s not just that its (ESPN) tentacles are everywhere: They’re everywhere at once.”

 “…but they (LSU) play a little loosey goosey and a bit out of control for my taste”

 “There is another school that plays football in LA?”

 “I think you just opened up a hornet’s nest !!!”

 “Where were you last night for the epic between Toledo and NIU? “

 “I think Golden is a big time coach waiting to happen.”

 “#1 and #2 are code words between mommies and kids.”

 “Tonight is gonna go into my brain in the same way my neighbor’s first name did. I don’t remember it and I didn’t really try to.”

 “IF the Trojans can stay out of their own way, this should be a slaughter.”

 “you don’t have to chew it to love it.”Louisiana Grown “ Turf grass – Demand it. “

 “(Watching the Bama-LSU game ) AM radio…..CB radio…..standing around the electronics section of WalMart.”

 “Oh boy, ya’ll get Hamhock Holly on the sideline.”

 “Nice beat down for the prophylactics.”

 “UCLA will be a feeding frenzy for this cat.”

 “I guess the whole “Les only won with Saban’s players” argument can finally be put to bed.”

 “No kidding. We have some weird hybrid grass up in Knoxville, maybe we can seduce him away.”

 “I wish I could argue that but I am giddy over beating a division 1AA school. “

 “Oklahoma State is just a bunch of overgrown teenagers playing backyard ball “

 “God may have abandoned Tebow but he is still sticking up for Richt”

 “The blind wildcat found a little bear cub.”

 “you’ve just got to believe through all 4 quarters”

 All I’ve got to say is ‘Bless His Heart’”

The Gophers have had a week to bask in the sun after the win over Iowa, but their “fun in the sun” ain’t gonna last. They are going against the Spartans at East Lansing and Sparty is a tough team to beat in their own backyard. Worthy and Gholston will make MarQueis Gray wish that he had stayed in bed. Look for Cousins and company to take advantage of Minnesota’s secondary.

INDIANA – OHIO STATE

The Buckeyes are coming off an exciting heart stopping win over Wisconsin. There is no reason Miller and the Buckeyes won’t continue their winning ways over a horrible Indiana team (I think they are worst than Kentucky). Miller and Herron will run over, around, and through the Hoosiers’ defense while Ohio State’s defensive line will manhandle Indiana. What’s a Hoosier?

#15 MICHIGAN – IOWA

Iowa got embarrassed by Minnesota last week and should be hanging their heads in shame. I think the Hawkeyes will be looking to erase that humiliating defeat from their memories with a win over Michigan. While the Hawkeyes will definitely play better at home, I just can’t bring myself to pick a team that got beat by Minnesota. Too much Denard Robinson for the Hawkeyes to handle. Michigan puts the hammer to’ em.

NORTHWESTERN – #10 NEBRASKA

Nebraska’s defense will have a little tougher time against Northwestern than they did against Sparty and the Spartans’ predictable offense. But Nebraska’s offense won’t have any trouble rolling against a Northwestern defense that can’t stop anybody. The Huskers offense will eat up yardage like a fat boy eating cake. Nebraska tames the Wildcats. Here kitty, kitty.

PURDUE – # 20 WISCONSIN

Hail Mary full of grace, PLEASE, don’t let Wisconsin lose another game on a last second desperation pass … that should be every Badger fan’s prayer. Wisconsin has suffered two heart breaking losses because of Hail Mary’s. But not this week, Wisconsin is going to take out all their frustrations on the Boilermakers and it aint going to be pretty. The Wisconsin team might need to go to confession after this game is over and ask for forgiveness ….. But then again – winning ain’t sinning …

Well, there you have it, my take on the games in the Big 10 this week. What’s that? You think can do better. Then spout off and let me know what you think.

  “ Thousands upon thousands of  folks attend football services every Saturday during the fall, not to bow at the altar, but to stand in the bleachers and cheer on their personal saviors who believe they can lead their team to the promised land of a national championship “

“The definition of an atheist in Alabama is someone who doesn’t believe in Bear Bryant.”

“Purdue is putting the boots to Illinois (Zook could get a phone call from the Nueheisle this evening)”

“Clemson is taking those candy ass Tarheels to the woodshed right now, what the hell is a tarheel anyway?”

“I’m a sucker for a bacon cheeseburger.”

“either way I am betting the city is about to declare him mayor, king, or whatever else he wants now. “

“Quite the evening, as Sparty skins Bucky Badger in overtime “

“ Another Bluegrass miracle! Kentucky stuns Jacksonville State. “

“Now it’s time to slap around some orange hillbillies. “

“Bless your Rocky Top Heart Doc! It’ll get better “

“Why are gringos running around naked in my village? “  ( –University of Arizona vs UCLA )

“it seems like the winds of revolution are blowing “

“I am told that those Cowbells can be annoying as well. “

“And there’s Weiss, 3 ax handles across the ass, sitting on a cooler while the defense was on the field.”

“just to be clear, the QB is the guy that holds the fat guy’s balls right? “

“ I’ve seen them on Mount Rushmore with Duke and Vanderbilt. “

“Making fun of OhioState is soooooo MSNBC “

“ Things You Just Don’t See Anymore “  ……  -  ……  -  ……..  “ How aboutMichigan on New Years Day??? “

“Mark may not be drunk for the game, but he will baptize a few Gators “

“Because where you see one set of footprints in the turf leading into the endzone? That’s where Tebow carried him. “

“A&M needs to learn how to finish a game if they want to last in the SEC. “

“I can’t figure this one out. It’s kind of like lukewarm water or flat coke – just not good “

“Anything I say about the game might sound like I’m taking credit away from Georgia- and I don’t want that – but it was damn sure ugly.”

“Holy Shit! I’m getting too old for this. Good thing I was self-medicated. “

“Mizzou and A&M. In the words of Freddy, “How sweet, fresh meat!!”

“War Eagle y’all! “