The week we have been dreading is here. Much too soon. While there is a lot of football left, we know that it is only a month and a half left and for some, your teams will be idle and you have to decide if you care about the Ohio vs. Troy Incontinence Bowl enough to watch on the second Wednesday in December. Of course you do, it is college football. December is like the last meal for a dying man and real fans suck up any morsel we can get.
With the general mediocrity of SEC football this year, there isn’t a lot to get excited about. The geeks hope there are some upsets so they can finagle Oklahoma State into the National Championship game and finally go off in their tube socks. The hypocrites hope for the same thing so they can look smug and say that they told us so. No such luck weasels. You could just be forced to watch the two best teams in college football play for the NC, as much as you hate it. They will at least earn the chance, the only question is what the voters decide to do about it.
Big news? Florida fans, who were hit in the head by Urban Meyer’s 2X4 this year got a kick in the nuts when it became just paperwork and courtesy before old Ambo joins the team that Gators love to taunt the most about an ancient win. This is Houston Nutt’s and probably Joker Phillips’ last game week in the SEC. Nutt had plenty of opportunities and Kentucky can’t afford to give Joker any more. Will Ole Miss bring back Big O? Will Kentucky offer Bill Curry? No, but they might be contacting some of the same guys.
We went 6-2 last week, to bring the short regular season to a close at 23-10. Thanks Vandy and Bulldawgs, you screwed me again.
Arkansas @ LSU(-14) There is a lot of wishful thinking going around the internets about Arkansas beating LSU. The Pigs are a good football team, but they are incapable of protecting Tyler Wilson against a good pass rush. LSU’s is relentless. The template is there . Against Alabama Wilson’s exit was reminiscent of Roberto Duran. Get all dressed up Razorbacks, you are going to Dallas.
Cotton Bowl Bound
LSU covers
Florida State(-2) @ Florida Both of these teams failed on a very high level this year, but the Gators took crappy to new heights. i’m not sure this team has the guts to play 60 minutes of football against even a marginally decent team and that is what the Seminoles are – marginally decent. I keep hearing that EJ Manuel is now good, he really is. Too bad he is good on Wednesday, when nobody sees him and not on Saturdays. Facing ACC defenses can make any QB look good, but he still fails. Florida has no QB, no offensive line, no receivers, midgets at running back and no defense, but they do have that decided schematic advantage.
Guru Guy
Florida covers
Georgia(-5.5) @ Georgia Tech This is harder to predict than it should be. Georgia has been playing pretty good football for about a month or two and have gotten decidedly better. Georgia Yech is still kind of schizophrenic. I don’t have much confidence in the Bees, but I don’t have much faith in betting against them either. Orson Charles has a draft position enhancing day and the Dawgs outscore the Jackets. This should be a good college football game and I would not be shocked if it went either way.
Georgia covers
Tennessee(-7) @ Kentucky Now this game is what we call LOLZ. Poor old Joker will soon be unemployed, but poor old Derek will still be wearing orange pants. Who has it worse? The fact that the Vols are only favored by 7 tells us how bad these teams are. I’m smelling an upset or is that just the stench of loser? But really, how can you not cheer for the Cats?
Daddy's little girl
Kentucky covers
Ole Miss @ Mississippi State(-17) By now, we are seeing a theme – the SEC really sucks this year. I am so freaking weary of hearing how great Dan Mullen is. Win something worth bragging about and then call me. This is also Houston Nutt’s last game as the head Rebel. It is really a sad occasion for anyone who loves the truly insane. The Ole Miss family is going to miss him nearly as much as they miss canker sores .
RIP Rev
Ole Miss covers
Vanderbilt(-1) @ Wake Forest The Commodores have been getting some attention by winning more than three games, but except for losing to Florida, they have only won games they should win. They did play both Georgia and Arkansas to within 3 points, so there is something there. Wake Forest has done pretty much the same thing, though they are already bowl eligible and Vandy needs this win to get to Shreveport or Birmingham. What the fuck, why not go with the home team? They do have a bad ass mascot.
The Fighting Commodore
Vandy covers
Clemson @ South Carolina (-4) Is this Steve Spurrier’s last year? Chances are no, but maybe that Kentucky job is looking good. If he can get the Gamecocks to 9 win seasons, he can do it anywhere. The Garcia Experiment failed and though they have good athletes, this is still the Cocks, eventually they will explode. Of course, Clemson did the Clemson. I don’t care what the reasons or excuses, they did what Clemson does. Dabo did provide some entertainment, with his manic depressive, Jr. High girl who just got felt up for the first time act. I’m not buying his greatness yet, sorry. I do think they are probably better than the Cocks though, if they can just pretend to have a defense for four quarters. There is nothing Tiger fans enjoy more than beating the Cocks.
Dabo gets his rock off
Clemson covers
Alabama(-21) @ Auburn “The Arn Bowl Paawwwwwl. Ware gonna whup ‘um. Gunna tar ‘um a new un.” Nick Saban needs a big win to put a lock on that NCG chance. The Yankee voters and the mentally ill bloggers and message board/mama’s basement dwelling underworld do not want the #1 and 2 teams to play again. Auburn definitely doesn’t. They are not through milking last year, though they will be able to for 53 more years, until the next one. A big Bama win will temporarily stop some of the shrieking though. Of course, by Monday, Paawwwwwl and the rest of us will get to hear the conspiracy theories. And don’t forget those damn trees and Texas’ favorite state trooper, Harvey Updyke. That is good for another 20 years of whining.
The Tide is just too good to consider the liklihood of one of those rivalry upsets. I think that they will really show up Saturday and we are looking at maybe the worst beating in many years. The Tigers have no answer for Richardson/Lacey/Fowler and no means to stop the Bama defense from battering their quarterbacks. Auburn students will be ble to wipe their ass Sunday, the few who do that will anyway, because there will be plenty of toilet paper left on the Plains.
Throw that at your damn trees
Bama kicks ass Paawwwwwl
” Get all dressed up Razorbacks, you are going to Dallas. ” …. where they will get barbecued …Arkansas might be 3rd in the SEC … but it is A distant 3rd …. can you say over-rated ?